Disputes and conflicts are part of our life in the church (Matt 18:15-17, Acts 15:1-34). Scripture makes it clear that believers have resources for handling conflict when it arises. Most disagreements are resolved by people speaking directly to each other. Sometimes this is just too difficult and we need to invite others to help us.
Church guidance
Conciliation Service
Supporting Relationships: Building Trust
When conflicts are not addressed they can impact more people and can become more complex. Because of this conciliation should be sought as early as possible.
Conciliation is ...
- Assisting people in dispute (individuals and/or groups) to find resolution.
- Facilitating difficult conversations as people work through issues.
- Helping people find creative ways to deal with conflict.
- Finding a way forward rather than judging the past.
How the service works ...
- Any Presbyterian (member or elder or minister) struggling with disagreement involving another member(s) of the church can contact their Clerk of Presbytery as a first step in finding resolution.
- Alternatively contact the conciliation coordinator at Assembly Buildings on [email protected]
- If the matter appears appropriate for the Conciliation Service, an assessment will be made by meeting the parties separately.
- The conciliators will then decide whether both parties are ready to meet together and work towards a resolution.
- The conciliation process normally involves one or more confidential meetings with the parties together where they will be facilitated in working through their conflict.
Could Conciliation be useful for you?
Yes… if:
- You recognise there is a matter to be resolved.
- You are willing to work with the other party to find a way forward.
- You wish to find ways to restore the broken relationship.
- You are more concerned about reaching an agreement than about winning.
Policy on confidentiality
1. Information gained during the conciliation process will be confidential to the conciliators and will not be divulged without the consent of those concerned, except where the evidence proves or suggests that an individual may be at risk physically or mentally or where a witness is called to give evidence at a civil court or where there is information to suggest a crime has been committed.
2. Conciliators will not be required to act as witnesses or to divulge information to any Church court.
Training available
Workshops/courses are available on the following subjects:
- Understanding conflict and its causes
- Skills for handling conflict
- Healthy decision-making
- Living with difference
- Managing change effectively
- Facilitating difficult conversations
These training courses can be adapted for any congregation, group or presbytery. They are free of charge and can be delivered as a workshop session (2/3 hours) or a longer course (a full day or more).
For more information, please contact the coordinator at [email protected]
Resource Downloads
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Conciliation Service - a brief guide (pdf, 0.11mb)